In honor of Alex Jamieson's recent conversion, I have decided to listen to my body, too. Starting tomorrow, I will be cannibal for a month.
I mean, I appreciate the compassionate motives of all those wonderful people in the world who just can't bring themselves to eat other people. But I can't live a lie anymore. I've craved this for years.
And really, I'm surrounded every day free-range people who have led good lives. It's not like it'll be hard to find affordable, decent cannibal food. Heck, it's free! I won't even have to invest in any weapons, since as a geology student I'm already equipped with a collection of hammers, picks, knives and other implements that could help me quickly dispense my prey.
And for them, it's only one bad day at the end, right?
I've heard we taste like pork. I wonder if that's true. Cuz let me tell you, I've really been craving bacon lately.